July 2004

What Color Is Your Cell Phone?

Adapting a Colorful New Vocabulary Can Improve Your Interpersonal Connections

By Loretta Stagnitto

Do conversations with your clients, colleagues, or staff members ever make you feel like you have a bad cell phone connection? As consultants, we need to be as reliant on strong interpersonal skills and our ability to influence and 'sell' to our clients as we are on our cell phones! Based on the work of renowned psychologist Carl Jung, I have discovered a remarkable way to more fully understand one's behavioral and interpersonal communication style and to quickly recognize the preferred style of others. Understanding it will help you quickly learn the 411 on yourself and others. Adapting your personal style as a result will help you converse and collaborate more effectively, because the more someone sees you as being like them, the faster you will earn their trust.

This three-step approach is the basis of the Insights Discovery System™. It uses a colorful vocabulary to help discover the true colors of your own personal cell phone and will ultimately help improve your everyday connections.

Step I: Understanding the WHO: It's All About Perception

How many times have you had a conversation with someone and you end up feeling like you have had a cell phone connection filled with static? You might think, "They just don't get it!" The conversation seems to fade in and out, or you may catch a few words here and there, but the two of you are not really connecting. You may feel as if you are experiencing that famous line from the TV commercial, "Can you hear me now?"

That's because, according to Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes, communication is only 7% about WHAT we say and 93% about to WHOM we say it! In addition to the words we choose, our tone of voice, the context of our comments, and the body language we use are all factors in how people understand what we're communicating. A good example is when we're trying to make a point while on a conference call, and the response we receive is either dead silence or a reply from someone that seems to make no sense to the point we just made! Sound familiar?

So, a first step towards improving interpersonal communications is for you to understand the WHO—the person or people with whom you are attempting to communicate, connect, and collaborate. You can do that by recognizing that it's all about perception—how we, and those around us, perceive the world. To quote the great artist, Leonardo da Vinci, "All our knowledge has its origins in perceptions." Just think about how our perceptions are formed. Based on our life experiences, we make assumptions as a result of our intellectual capacity, education, culture, religion, and heritage. Our initial experiences mold our perceptions. We are not like a camera that objectively records some reality on film. Instead, we see a version of the real world that is colored by our past experiences and our expectations. In simple terms, we see the world not as it is, but as we are. Hence, this is the first step toward understanding ourselves and others.

Step II: Using Colors to Assess Behavioral and Interpersonal Styles

The second step is learning the model of the Insights Discovery System™. Based on the original work of psychologist Carl Jung, and designed so we understand and value the uniqueness of every individual, this complex model uses a simple approach—namely that we all have four distinctive 'color energies,' although we have a preference for using only one or two (sometimes three) of them most of the time. Which ones we use depends on the people with whom we're working or the task on which we're focused. These color energies are:

• Fiery Red or Action Energy
• Sunshine Yellow or Creative Energy
• Earth Green or Relationship Energy
• Cool Blue or Analytical Energy

By relating how you, and those with whom you interact, behave, and communicate in the context of these colors, you can quickly learn to recognize one's style and adapt your own, accordingly. For example, here are key words that describe people who have a preference for one or more of these color energies on either their good or bad days!

Do you fit one or more of these color energies? Do you have a client or a colleague who does? Here are more clues to help you quickly determine someone's energy preference:

• Individuals with a significant amount of red energy tend to be extraverted, high-energy, action-oriented, and are always in motion. They approach others in a direct, authoritative manner. Their personal style is fast and decisive, and their interactions tend to be task-focused, controlling, and frequently impatient. Listening isn't always easy for them.
  
• People with a predominant amount of yellow energy are strongly extraverted, radiant and friendly, and enjoy the company of others. They believe that life should be fun and will approach others in a persuasive, democratic manner. Their personal style is fast and spontaneous, and their interactions tend to be relationship-focused and future-oriented. They enjoy small talk and are usually flexible, open, and responsive. They enjoy talking more than listening.
  
• Those with a large amount of green energy are usually more introverted and focus on values and depth in relationships. They want others to rely on them and will defend what they value with quiet determination and persistence. Their personal style is slow and easy, and their interactions tend to be relationship-focused and coordination-oriented. They are considerate, relaxed, quiet, and reserved. They enjoy listening more than talking.
  
• Men or women with predominately blue energy tend to be introverted and have a desire to know and understand the world around them. They like to think before they act and maintain a detached, objective standpoint. These individuals value independence and intellect, and they prefer written communication in order to maintain clarity and precision. Their personal style is slow and systematic, and their interactions are practical, formal, and analytical.

Step III: Adapting and Connecting

Now that you have a model for quickly recognizing the preferred behavioral and interpersonal styles of your clients and colleagues, arguably the most important step is the third one—adapting your own style to better connect and collaborate with them. Why? Well, as noted earlier, the more someone sees you as being like them, the faster you will be able to gain their trust. And what better way to do that than by treating others the way THEY would like to be treated. This means using less of your natural color preferences and more of theirs. Here are some tips on how to best adapt and connect with each of the four color energies:

Red Energy

• Be direct and assured
• Don't waffle or hesitate
• Focus on facts not feelings
• Be well organized and factual
• Watch for impatience
• Follow his/her pace

Yellow Energy

• Be sociable—even if it hurts!
• Talk about them
• Be interested in them
• Focus on the future
• Tell stories
• Ask questions to allow them to express themselves

Green Energy

• Talk more slowly
• Be open
• Show personal interest
• Ask his/her opinion
• Listen carefully
• Don't push

Blue Energy

• Slow down—not too direct
• Be more formal
• Don't miss details, facts, figures, or prices
• Support statements with proof
• Demonstrate your product knowledge
• Allow him/her time to respond

Loretta L. Stagnitto is an Executive Coach and founder of Loretta Stagnitto Leadership (www.lorettastagnitto.com). She works with clients to enhance their leadership effectiveness and with intact, newly formed, and cross-functional teams to increase their performance through better awareness of their skills, behavioral, and work styles, and the specific value they provide. She is a certified Associate of the Insights Learning and Discovery System.